


Under the Table

by sadboykylo



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Astronomy, End of the World, F/M, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2019-01-09
Packaged: 2019-10-01 05:46:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17238530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sadboykylo/pseuds/sadboykylo
Summary: Ben did not expect the drunk girl he almost hit with his car to also be his most promising student.





	1. Collision Course

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a long time ago, then I grew insecure, and I deleted it. 
> 
> After months, and months, and months (and I literally mean... months) of listening to my friend grumble and plead for the return of Under the Table, I finally decided to do so (re-vamped). 
> 
> This is for you, Myranda. Happy Birthday. I love you.

**Chapter One ✴ Collision Course**

_“We come spinning out of nothingness, scattering stars like dust.”_

 

* * *

  

**Launch Day**

 

Similar feelings that coated the control room were far from acquainted to Rey. 

 

The burbling sensation would typically begin in the pit of the stomach, then climb up the ladder of the spine, only to sting the back of the throat like stomach acid. It would burn, making one crinkle their nose and rub at the abdomen to free the ache.

 

A poet would call them butterflies, but Rey simplified it as the anxiety before a rocket launch.

 

“Ground startup is complete,” a distant voice echoed through the speakers.

 

Throughout the reach of the operations center, people cheered with heightened elatedness. A row of monitors transmitted a live feed, illuminating the relief of exhausted and bedraggled faces.

 

Hidden within a wafting curtain of smoke, _The Star Cruiser_ awaited on a launchpad only two miles away; flight computers, now, assuming full control of the enduring countdown. In the glaze of a lavender sunset, the event was going to initiate on that cloudless evening in Florida.

 

Yet, Rey spared no more than a smile.

 

Instead, her eyes remained devoted to the numbers. They would generously shift between the feeds, checking once — _twice_ — then a few times more — for clarity and security purposes. 

 

After dedicating years to the _Resistance_ space program and preparing for this very moment, she already knew better than to celebrate prematurely for a rocket launch, especially for a vehicle as colossal and as ambitious as _The Star Cruiser._ Too many nights were spent in anguish, throwing plates, and screaming at empty walls. She would shake at the memory: a ship successfully meeting the clouds, only to combust, and fall back to the earth as a reminder of the struggle, tears, and sleepless nights — as a reminder of the years in college, the sacrifices to get to this position, of _him._

 

This mission was _different._

 

The world was dead, and everyone was watching.

 

“Stage two present for flight,” another voice remarked.

 

Rey leaned forward, hovering over a blinking panel. Beads of sweat dribbled from her forehead, following the length of her nose and meeting her lips. She could taste the salt of them, but was far too focused to pay any mind.

 

The digits of the clock continued to wind, dwindling lower and lower and lower…

 

Her stomach did a cartwheel.

 

Intuitively, Rey grabbed at the chain that itched her neck. The necklace was tucked beneath her collar but after a brief struggle, she was able to free the dog tag. She squeezed the pendant until the engraved words imprinted into her own flesh.

   

> _“Use the Force.”_
> 
>  
> 
> _A voice whispered, she could almost detail what he looked like. The shadow of his profile was eclipsed by the launch; a static fire in the blanket of night. His angular nose protruded from kissable cheekbones like Californian mountaintops. He smiled all the time back then._
> 
>  
> 
> _“The Force? I thought First Order rockets relied on HyperFuel.”_
> 
>  
> 
> _“Maybe we’re doing it wrong,” he had shrugged. “Do you know a secret that I don’t?”_
> 
>  
> 
> _“Well, I’ll let you know when I figure it out,” Rey had fallen back onto the hood of his car. She stared at the night sky, watching the fading light join the other twinkling specks. It soared to oblivion, abandoning their own planet._
> 
>  
> 
> _And he had folded over her, ruining the view of hope with his foolish grin and mop of midnight-black hair. The tip of his nose was reddened from the crisp evening and his teeth slightly jittered. “I can show you the ways of the Force.”_

 

The back-throat burn melted into what resembled the aftermath of a tequila shot. Her heart was thumping in her ear, reverberating in her eardrum. She could hear the bass of the house parties; almost detail the subwoofers that would shake the floor boards.

 

With her other hand, she reached forward. It faltered in the air.

 

_“Join me, Rey.”_

 

She could _feel_ his aura encompassing her. She could _sensationalize_ his flesh crawling up her own; _imagine_ his breath drawing down the back of her neck. She forced herself to shed him like old skin before reaching forward and pressing the intercom button of the flight director’s desk.

 

“T-minus thirty-seconds to launch," Rey said.

 

* * *

 

**Six Years Ago**

**The August of Freshman Year**

 

 

Four shots of _Jack Daniels_ and Rey was _wasted_. 

 

At the corner of the intersection, she felt particularly _slow._ Every moment was a streak of color that had been blended by a paintbrush. The colors and lights enfolded upon Rey in a swirl of confusion. She wobbled before grasping the lamppost to steadying the double into a focus. When you were drunk, laughter always seemed heightened, everyone always seemed happier.

 

Rey grasped the post, observing as girls carried their own shoes, or as groups tackled into the backseats of lift services. Others disappeared into remaining parties. Nevertheless, everyone was scattering like marbles, and Rey was being left alone on the street.

 

A siren shrieked, spurring her to jump. Through the trees, she could distinguish the flashing red and blue they all just escaped.

 

It was orientation weekend and every single fraternity, sports team, organization, and club was hosting a welcome back party. Each rendezvous was met with dirty red cups, half-kicked kegs, and bad top forty remixes.

 

Rey, who had never experienced the bitterness of a liquor-wet lime, or the lost sensation of fog machines on a dance floor, was absolutely in love with her new lifestyle that coexisted with the full-ride to _Organa University_.

 

Finally, she took a few brave steps in the direction of stadium lights. Her dazed mind could account for that much before the agonizing pain of her sore feet took over and she stopped the venture.

 

Somewhere between her roommate’s smoke break, and the frenzy that was spurred by police officers busting the party, Rey had been helplessly separated from her friends. Now, she was successfully lost and floating adrift in unfamiliar territory before dawn.

 

Flickering lights and music escaped from an adjacent basement as a few kids created calamity outside. If she crawled into the depths of college students, she could dance until she was sober enough to find her dormitory, or her seemingly lost phone. A few of them passed a joint, creating exhaust in the late summer silhouette. To Rey’s drunken imagination, it looked like the exhaust of a powerful machine.

 

She shook the thought.

 

“Hey!” Rey exclaimed. She waved her hands wildly.

 

Approaching on the sidewalk, a student hugged their textbooks to their chest. They glared in her direction, ignoring the greeting as they passed.

 

“Wait up,” Rey slurred. She tripped forward, attempting to formulate a question about the dormitory halls. Instead of replicating the thought in her mind, she released a hiccup, and the student quickly evaded across the street.

 

“Seriously? Just tell me — direction!”

 

Irresolute to the response, Rey stood bewildered on the curb. Her vision blurred a canvas of green and red light, painting a picture that smelled like whiskey. Her feet tangoed over the other, before she sputtered forward and convoyed the rising horizon. She lowered into the street and started to cross.

 

_She had intro to aero in just three hours and —_

 

A deafening horn **blared** , stitched into the screech of tires on pavement.

 

Rey lurched forward, sending herself into a sudden, but ephemeral state of soberness. The breeze whisked by with a streak of black. In the middle of the street, a vehicle came to a sudden stop after only narrowly avoiding Rey, and making her roadkill.

 

Earth herself may have stopped rotating in that moment.

 

The vehicle idled as Rey stood perfectly still — starstruck, dazed, and blanketed in the red glow of brake lights. Suddenly, the whirl of the drivers window rolled down as the vehicle slowly backed up to where Rey remained frighteningly stunned in the middle of the street.

 

“Are you _fucking_ serious?” A man’s voice called out. It was high-strung and painted by a lack of inhaled breathing, despite the depth of it. You could drown in a voice that deep.

 

 _“Am I fucking serious?”_ Rey repeated. That sudden, but ephemeral state of soberness sunk back into its original state of liquid courage. “Are _you_ fucking serious? This is a pedestrian walkway!”

 

“You’re right,” the man agreed. However, Rey noted the hint of sarcasm as he added on: “When my light is red.”

 

“You’re on a college _campussssssss_ ,” the hissing noise in her response received a special song as she tried to conjure any other reason it was this man’s fault she almost nearly died, and not her own. “You need to drive slower at night.”

 

He stared, incapable of disguising his utter annoyance.

 

Yet, she stared back — arms crossed, hip cocked, and balance tilted from its axis.

 

He continued to stare. The lights were turning red and green but no one else was on the road.

 

Finally, he deadpanned: “Are you drunk?”

 

“No,” she lied.

 

“You smell like the bathroom of a bar.”

 

Rey swayed.

 

The brake lights dimmed, doubtlessly from the car being placed in park. A fluorescent glow washed over the red and before her mind could process the change, or whatever was occurring, the driver’s door was opened, and in the silhouette, a shadow overwhelming eclipsed her own figure.

 

“What is your name? Are you underage?” The darkness of his eyes scored her over, etching themselves into patches of her skin. His eyebrows furrowed. They were seemingly in search for a wallet or phone. However, Rey was _far too drunk_ to notice the way they lingered on her exposed legs beneath the sequined dress.

 

“Are you going to call my parents on me?” She teased. “Am I in trouble?”

 

“That’s up to the disciplinary board to decide,” he dug into his own coat pocket and grabbed his phone. His fingers searched the address book for campus security.

 

“Well, good luck getting in touch with them. _They’re both dead._ ”

 

The man froze. His finger hovered over the call button. In his peripheral, he watched as the girl swayed to the bass from some distant house party. The comment was shallow; and far too easy in their conversation. She was _drunk-_ drunk.

 

“Where are your friends?”

 

“They lost me.”

 

“Are you sure you didn’t lose them?” His eyes rolled as he returned the phone to his pocket. If he was going to call security tonight, the associated paperwork would take hours to complete, and he had already dedicated a few sleepless nights preparing for the semester. “Where is your dormitory?”

 

Rey shrugged. “If I knew, I wouldn’t be here… talking to you.”

 

The man took a step closer and Rey swallowed her own breath.

 

In the illuminated lamppost, she could better detail the face behind that voice — and it did not disappoint. The man was _fucking_ gorgeous. He had dark circles beneath his eyes but that was beside the point. His hair was far too long, and he probably heard about it all the time from relatives and friends. However, the way it accentuated his pale face made other features remarkably more notable — like his lips pursing, or the speck of freckles that littered in the most random of places.

 

“The freshman honor hall,” she squeaked.

 

He nodded. “Get in.”

 

“Get in?”

 

“The car,” he opened his own door. “I’ll drive you back.”

 

* * *

 

Growing up, Rey accelerated in school to compensate for other parts of her life.

 

She was fluent in four different languages, she scored perfectly on the mathematic placement exam, she graduated as Valedictorian, and somehow managed a full ride into the hardest aerospace program in the country. Yet, somehow, she failed the first lesson of grade school: Do not get in the car with a stranger.

 

“Stop playing with the controls.”

 

“It’s hot,” she cooed, not entirely unsure if it was the temperature control or the fact that she was in close proximity to a gorgeous stranger. It was probably a mixture of both. She was equally too drunk to care.

 

With the mechanism on his control panel, he cracked her window; spurring her to sigh happily and sink further into the passenger’s seat.

 

The car ride was mostly silent. Sporadically, the blinker would fill the void of silence that separated their banter. Passing houses started to morph into a familiar landscape, like the library and the student center. It was a part of campus Rey recognized before the pre-game settled in her bloodstream.

 

“You can just drop me off here. I can walk the rest of the way.”

 

His response was quick and blunt: “No.”

 

“It’s okay,” she slurred. “You’ve been far too generous.”

 

“You’re plastered and wandering around a college campus on your own. Do you realize how dangerous that is?” He glanced over at her. For a quick moment, his face was illuminated by an overhead street lamp they passed. “I’ll feel better knowing you got home okay.”

 

Rey didn’t object further; but her eyes remained on him. They slowly started to scan his body. He was wearing a fitted jacket, a silver-faced watch on the wrist, and had no sign of jewelry on his fingers — not that it mattered, _but she was curious of his age and trying to find a range._

 

He switched on the blinker, turning down a separate side street. 

 

“So…” his voice scattered before his eyes settled on her again. “You’re a student here?”

 

Rey nodded, her head bobbing in a way that was far too heavy for her own neck. She felt dizzy. 

 

“You’re in the honor hall, as well.” His lips flickered into what could be argued as a smile. “Congratulations. Most freshman get stuck in the old dormitory halls." 

 

 _“Don’t jinx me,”_ she stuttered. “We’ll see if I’m still an honor student after the fall semester in this program.”

 

“Which major did you declare?” He sounded genuinely intrigued.

 

“I’m an — ” Suddenly, she leaned forward and hiccuped. Quickly, she covered her mouth as her cheeks equally painted pink. She was terrified to look in his direction — dazed like the moment he nearly hit her with the same vehicle she was sitting inside of now. She knew nothing about cars, but she could tell it was expensive. 

 

He came to a stop at the red light, his voice warning: “Do **not** puke in this Tesla.”

 

* * *

 

Ben zigzagged along the braiding roadways, carefully climbing the hill. He could remember, from when he was a student at the same institution, that all the honor halls were situated at the very top. They always had the best views, but the worst commute. 

 

The girl in his passenger’s seat was hiccuping and holding her stomach. He had to reach the top safely, but _quickly_. This was a hundred thousand dollar investment and she was **not** about to ruin his random act of kindness by staining the floor, or leaving a permanent scent of whiskey in her wake. Every time he would drive, he would be perpetually reminded of this evening.

 

He placed the car in park, glancing over to the space her spirit consumed. She was knocked out — her head resting on the window and her breathing making soft whistle tones. Her hand was draped loosely over the panel, twitching slightly.

   

> _“Your mother was nagging about grand-children the other day.”_
> 
>  
> 
> _“I already told you,” Ben interrupted._
> 
>  
> 
> _“Yeah, yeah,” his father had waved his hands to silence him._
> 
>  
> 
> _"She should know better. The world — "_
> 
>  
> 
> _His father joined in, imitating his usual response. “The world is dying and the kids would suffer.”_

 

He watched her momentarily; trying to construct the life she lived. Was it any different from his own? Were her struggles similar? Harder? Easier? And then, without particular curiosity, his mind seemed to wander to the comment about her parents and the possibilities that laid in the wake of their death. There were a lot of them nowadays — catastrophic flooding, unknown disease epidemics, resource regulations… running someone over with a car.

 

“We’re here.”

 

She shot up in her seat, her eyes blinking quickly. “I’m awake.”

 

He smiled, and her face seemed to take notice. It was his first noticeable smile since they first interacted, screaming at one another on the side of a road in a college town. For some reason, it did not hinder him from hiding it. He did not shy away. Instead, he unlocked the car and watched as she wobbled out to steady herself. Her legs swelled, unsure if they could trust the firm ground. She looked like a sailor returning from sea.

 

“Thank you for the ride.”

 

He nodded. “Be safe, please.”

 

She mimicked. “Drive slow, please.”

 

The door begun to close, spluttering the lights that came from the dormitory. Before she could fully close herself off from him, she opened it wide again and ducked her head inside.

 

“I’m Rey, by the way.”

 

“Rey?” He repeated, an eyebrow rising into his bangs. It was far from what he expected — yet, he wasn’t _exactly sure what to expect_ from her anymore.

 

“Yeah…” Her hands suddenly made gestures in the air, soaring through a drunken frenzy that he deemed as innocent, _and kind of cute,_ despite the slur of her words that followed. “My parents were scientists. It’s corny, but they figured I was _colorful_ in my own right. They thought I just wasn't visible on the electromagnetic spectrum. So, they named me Rey, _like ray of light,_ only there is an E instead of an A.”

 

His mouth opened as he tried to formulate words. Rey transcribed it as cluelessness, but it was nothing close to that. More like, admiration.

 

“It’s kind of confusing. The electromagnetic spectrum is a range of frequencies of radiation, and depending on their wavelengths, and photon energies, they are placed in an arranged order.” She took a deep breath, trying to articulate the garble. “They thought they were clever, but now I explain this to everyone. It makes dating hard.” She rolled her eyes, seemingly annoyed to recount the story but equally pressed to tell him all about it. She settled with a smile instead, slightly jittering in the morning dew. “Anyway, I’m holding you up. Have a good night, or uhh, _good morning?”_

 

Ben continued to stare at the girl that just recited a middle school science textbook while drunk.

 

The door settled, completely closing this time around. His gaze convoyed her shadow as it braced the front steps — carefully — before disappearing safely into the lobby of the residential hall.

 

He released an adhered breath; his fists clenching the steering wheel until the knuckles bore white.

 

Ben knew a lot about space, but he was genuinely unsure what destructive or beautiful thing would come from his collision to a walking spectrum of color. Probably chaos — but that bred new life all the same.

 

He mumbled amongst himself, “Goodnight, Rey.”


	2. Syllabus Week

**Chapter Two** ✴ **Syllabus Week**

The moon is a friend for the lonesome to talk to.

Carl Sandburg

 

* * *

 

**Six Years Ago**

**The Morning After**

 

The hangover prevailed a night’s sleep. Birds chirping, students shouting in the court below the fire escape, and her roommate’s persistent alarm clock created a dreadful harmony.

 

First — her eyes adjusting to the cruel greeting of sunshine through the window.

 

Second — the repulsive aftertaste of whiskey.

 

Third — a splitting migraine within the depths of her confused, dazed thoughts.

 

And, finally — the realization that it was the first day of classes and the science building was on the opposite side of campus.

 

Rey tossed through the duvet, nearly slipping into the grips of gravity from her twin sized bed and flatly landing on the concrete flooring of her dormitory.

 

Her own, illustrated orbit was off axis as the room spun.

 

Mascara was burning her eyelids, the sequin cocktail dress she wore to bed was suspiciously reeking the scent of liquor, and her phone was still not charged after being aimlessly chucked across the room in the middle of the night.

 

In the adjacent bed, her roommate slapped the snooze button before curling into the expanse of her blankets. She released a shuddering groan, her annoyance anything but tamed.

 

“Classes,” Rey grumbled, rubbing a palm down her cheeks. “—starting today.”

 

“My first is at three,” Rose yawned. She rolled over and peeked out from the shadows that shielded the sunrise. “I tried calling you last night. Your phone was off.”

 

“Dead,” Rey held up the device, displaying the darkened — and ashamedly, cracked — screen.

 

Her roommate nodded. “I’m glad you got back okay. I was scared I’d have to file a missing persons report with campus police in the morning.”

 

“No — Thank you for _not_ calling them,” Rey groaned from the sloshing of liquid in her empty stomach. She grasped the bed frame to steady her rise from the mattress as it creaked beneath her lifted weight. “I would lose my scholarship for drinking underage.”

 

“Next time we go out, you’re wearing a bell so I don’t lose you.”

 

“What happened?”

 

“You wanted to show _some blonde wearing greek letters_ the constellations and next thing I know — you’re gone and the cops are busting the house party.”

 

 _Yup — it turned out I was actually that burdensome friend that wandered off at parties._ Rey crinkled her forehead, rubbing her pulsing temples. _But how the hell did I get back here?_

 

* * *

 

“I’ve already emailed the negotiations for the _Dreadnought.”_

 

His uneven strides created a chasm in the corridor, splitting the crowd. Gazes from the students followed his wake, eyeing the man that commuted to his first lecture of the day.

 

 _I was in the office until two in the morning working on it,_ Ben griped.

 

“Well,” the resentful voice responded on the other end of their — rather long, and tiring — phone call. “Snoke has asked for an updated version that includes two additional ion thrusters.” 

 

Ben balanced the phone between his cheek and shoulder as he struggled with his jacket’s pocket. His clutched the chain, shuffling through them to find the correct key to unlock his office. “The vehicle is _already_ stable enough to leave orbit. Those thrusters will increase the price of the launch by millions.”

 

“Unlike the other corporations, the _First Order_ has its —“ The man momentarily paused, searching for the appropriate language. “—Ambitions focused on further flung rocks.”

 

Ben simplified his colleague’s excuse. “The world is dying and your boss is concerned about making a bigger headline.”

 

“How else will we win the space race?”

 

There was silence momentarily, allowing Ben the opportunity to roll his eyes in secrecy.

 

To a businessman, space exploration was about the money and buzz. To a physicist, it was rocket science that put lives and years of work in the faith of a controlled bomb.

 

“Rushing the project could result in casualties and loss of investment,” Ben chucked his messenger bag onto a cushioned chair. He eyed the stack of paperwork left on his desk from last night. _Talk money,_ he considered, _they only see dollar signs._ “You shouldn’t risk your shareholder’s judgement this close to launch —”

 

The voice interrupted, impatient. “— Make it happen, Ren. Or I’ll be sure to inform the buyer his trust in you was misplaced.”

 

“General —“ Ben begun but not before the phone clicked and a dial tone buzzed.

 

* * *

 

A bagel between her teeth, and her hair still dripping from the shower — Rey slid from the elevator and onto the astronomy floor of the science building. She shuffled, quickly but inconspicuously, down the hallway.

 

It was the first day of classes and she was **not** about to be late.

 

Her eyes merely glanced at door numbers, counting a cadence in her head as she journeyed to the appropriate lecture room.

 

 _Organa University_ was larger than any school Rey had previously visited. It practically had its own zip-code, a shopping center, and even a transportation system — fulfilled by buses and tram-trains. The science hall itself was bigger than her high school back in Astoria.

 

It was overwhelming; a nook of the world she never fathomed assuming.

 

The doors burst open; slamming against the walls of the auditorium. Seemingly rehearsed, every single head whipped into her direction. Their eyes narrowed, cornering her beneath examination and analyzation.

 

Whispers fluttered into the acoustics of the room: _is she lost?_

 

Rey smoothed down the front of her sweatshirt, then obsessively pushed her hair behind her ears. Their tentative glares spurred a flare of thoughts that questioned her own confidence and morale. 

 

“Is this introduction to aerospace?” She asked.

 

A guy blinked over his laptop, haphazardly nodding her off.

 

“Thank you,” Rey mumbled to herself.

 

Carefully, she descended the steps that passed the rows of the auditorium. Nearly every single seat was taken by a student, or being reserved by a book bag they refused to move for her. Everyone either unapologetically gawked, or busied themselves with notes.

 

It was clearly a popular and desired course — one that was added to Rey’s schedule accordingly for her scholarship. She didn’t have to wake up early and fight to the death to secure a spot on the roster during registration.

 

 _“Pssst,”_ a voice rose above the whispers.

 

Her eyes nervously scanned faces, trying to find the source.

 

“Right here,” he raised his pencil up to catch her attention.

 

The boy — wearing a mustard cardigan and using a tablet as a laptop — moved his bag from the adjacent seat. He gestured to it, offering the opened spot to the helpless girl that wandered aimlessly amongst the crowd.

 

Rey quickly sat, sinking away. She could feel the eyes on the back of her head.

 

“I’m Finn,” he extended his hand and gave her a quick shake.

 

“Rey.”

 

“Nice name.”

 

Her thoughts were too jumbled to go into the typical spiel about its origin.

 

“Don’t be too discouraged, Rey.” He chuckled, practically reading her mind. “You’ll want to get used to the attention.”

 

“Used to the attention?” She raised her eyebrow in curiosity.

 

The boy grinned, entertained by her blatant bewilderment. “You don’t notice, do you?”

 

 _Notice?_ — Her thoughts panned to a void. She shimmied up from the hole she dug and took conservative glances around the room. The abstruse question lingering between them started to melt into understanding.

 

She was the only girl in a room of a hundred students.

 

“Congratulations,” he shrugged.

 

“For?” Rey questioned.

 

In a sky of stars; she was a verdant planet — desperate for growth and warmth.

 

“For pursing the most competitive program in the world,” he added.

 

* * *

 

Silence draped the auditorium, urged by a heavy shift that catalyzed the atmosphere. The port had opened and space suctioned all the air from the room. The earth itself could have stopped rotating — a shift in time that consoled the odds. Every head was gawking in his direction, eyeing his careful descent.

 

Rey could hear her own heartbeat — an aimless thump in her eardrum.

 

“Welcome to introduction to aerospace engineering,” he announced.

 

His legs were lengthy, but proportionate to his body — his shape squaring a chest that challenged the buttons of his dress shirt. His hair was darker than the night sky, accentuating a face that, most likely, hadn’t absorbed sunshine in weeks.

 

Yet, even in the darkness of the night and her state of mind, she knew it was him.

 

Not just anyone had a voice — _like that_.

 

“My name is Professor Solo,” he begun. _I’m the leading astrophysicist at Organa University, I’ve overseen countless missions to the stars, and proposed the plan to evacuate our planet._ “But — you already knew that.”

 

Around the room, students stifled their laughter. Even Finn, the boy kind enough to offer his free seat, was amused by the professor’s wit.

 

His charm was cosmic; but Rey could feel the aftertaste of whiskey she attempted to scrub away with peppermint toothpaste returning to her throat.

 

It was all coming back.

 

“It’s syllabus week and I’m sure you have _lots of parties to attend_ ,” he placed his bag down on the chair and removed his jacket. It was snug around his biceps, practically biting down on him. “So, I hope you don’t mind if I shorten lecture today and just go over our basics.”

 

The class snickered, closing their notebooks or shutting down their laptops in response.

 

The stranger from the screeching, braking car; the man hugged by darkness by the night — was none other than Professor Solo. He pulled a free piece of paper from a manila folder. It had personalized notes in the margins; something only a student in the front row could assess.

 

“When I call your name, let me know you’re here.”

 

 _Fuck my life,_ Rey sunk back into her seat. _Let a black hole rip through the junction of time and space and swallow me whole._

 

It was the first time she had ever felt accepted — a palpable sense of belonging — and the consequences surrounding her four shots of Jack Daniels was going to pry it all away.

 

“Bane, Cad.”

 

A student wearing a baseball cap raised their hand. “Present.”

 

“Bridger, Ezra.”

 

“Here.”

 

If anxiety hadn’t already washed away her shoreline — it definitely was now. It eroded and ate like a barrel of hydrofluoric acid hooked to her vein through a tube.

 

She pulled the hoodie of her sweatshirt over her — still soaking wet — hair and frantically attempted to conceal her face.

 

“ — Finn.”

 

The generous boy next to her raised his hand and momentarily stole the professor’s attention. He nodded, his eyes quickly flickering back to the sheet of paper. He made a small note when a student was present, or absent.

 

“Koon, Plo.”

 

“Here.”

 

Her heart was racing as he moved further and further down the list, increasingly approaching her name in the alphabetical order.

 

“Niima, R —”

 

He paused. His eyes fixated on the three letters that spelled her name; his lips still parted.

  

> _“Rey?” He repeated, an eyebrow rising into his bangs. It was far from what he expected — yet, he wasn’t exactly sure what to expect from her anymore._
> 
>  
> 
> _“Yeah…” Her hands suddenly made gestures in the air, soaring through a drunken frenzy that he deemed as innocent, and kind of cute, despite the slur of her words that followed. “My parents were scientists. It’s corny, but they figured I was colorful in my own right. They thought I just wasn't visible on the electromagnetic spectrum. So, they named me Rey, like ray of light, only there is an E instead of an A.”_
> 
>  
> 
> _His mouth opened as he tried to formulate words. Rey transcribed it as cluelessness, but it was nothing close to that. More like, admiration._
> 
>  
> 
> _“It’s kind of confusing. The electromagnetic spectrum is a range of frequencies of radiation, and depending on their wavelengths, and photon energies, they are placed in an arranged order.” She took a deep breath, trying to articulate the garble. “They thought they were clever, but now I explain this to everyone. It makes dating hard.” She rolled her eyes, seemingly annoyed to recount the story but equally pressed to tell him all about it. She settled with a smile instead, slightly jittering in the morning dew. “Anyway, I’m holding you up. Have a good night, or uhh, good morning?”_

 

In the front row of his class, she raised her hand, “Here.”

 

Ben lifted his eyes, staring at the girl that recited a middle school textbook while she was thoroughly wasted. Except now — she was sober, her pupils were their appropriate radius, and she was wearing something casual.

 

He released an adhered breath; his knuckles white from clutching the paper.

 

His collision with the manifestation of color was anything but simple — he expected chaos; but this was worst. She was the same Rey that received a full scholarship into the aerospace program, the same promising student that could achieve greatness amongst the stars, the same student from Astoria that scored so highly on her standardized tests, the board of education required her to retake them to ensure she had not been cheating.

 

This degree was her ticket off of Earth when it finally decided to implode.

 

And there she was, humiliated and crippling beneath the silence and discomfort of the classroom. The snickering students were not nearly as brave when the professor was present.

 

He continued, stuttering. “— Piell, uh, Even.”

 

“Uh,” the student awkwardly pulled the pendulum back into rhythm, “— _here._ ”

 

* * *

 

“ — And here’s my phone number.” Finn handed her crumbled piece of paper; digits jotted across it. “My boyfriend and I live off campus. We’re throwing a party tonight, if you’re interested.”

 

Rey nodded, “Sounds like fun. I’ll mention it to my roommate.”

 

The professor was surrounded by students. He was handing them extra copies of next week’s assignment, assuring them that he had the typical and expected office hours of any other ordinary professor, while fulfilling their unsettled questions about climate change.

 

His eyes jumped over their heads, meeting Rey’s.

 

Quickly, she ducked and followed Finn up the stairs that ascended out of the lecture hall.She hugged her stack of books. Every student was bracing at least thirty more pounds of literature about the cosmos.

 

“Rey?” The voice came from below. “—A word, please.”

 

She was hoping he wouldn’t do this. He had carried the entire length of lecture without batting an eye in her direction. She translated that as a silent indication that they could just pretend last night had never happened.

 

Everyone stopped, their attention flickering unsteadily between the two of them.

 

Finn patted her shoulder. “I’ll catch you around.” And before Rey could protest, he was out of the door and into the expected masses of commuting students.

 

Others nudged past on the stairs, shooting her attentive glares in their passing. She was bathing in the attention of the most respected professor in their program — _and perhaps_ , the field of astronomy.

 

And, it didn’t even seem to phase her.

 

“Right now?” Rey asked.

 

He gathered his paperwork and shoved it away in his bag.

 

“I have another —“

“— You don’t have advanced chemistry until four,” he held out his hand and gestured toward the vacant space before him.

 

Rey sighed; slowly descended the staircase. She hugged her books even tighter, her knuckles boring the color white and her chest nearly creating a beat against the hardcover. “How do you know my schedule?”

 

He dismissed her question. “Did you sleep well?”

 

“As best as I could.”

 

He nodded. “I’m sure I don’t have to reiterate myself.”

 

“And I’m sure I don’t have to remind you to drive slower on a college campus,” she responded, not missing a single enunciation or beat.

 

He flickered an arrogant smile; but a smile nonetheless. “I’m assigning you an extra assignment.”

 

“Excuse me — what?” She already had countless pages to read, a rough draft to a research paper, and expected a lab report to be assigned later in the day. Wasn't this supposed to be syllabus week?

 

He extended his hand, holding a small paperback book. Some of the pages were tucked into bookmarks and when she flipped through, she noticed handwritten notes left in the margins, or pieces that had been highlighted.

 

“Across the Stars by Anakin Skywalker?” She asked. “Isn’t he — dead?”

 

“Yes,” her professor nodded. “But a remarkable scientist that discovered the truth about our world.”

 

Rey sucked the inside of her cheeks, biting her tongue.

 

His unconventional practices at Imperial Space Exploration was responsible for killing dozens of people. She could remember — being six, or maybe seven — and watching the launch on a tiny screen in her middle school gymnasium. Her heart still ached thinking about that vehicle exploding in the sky — hardly escaping the orbit.

 

“I want you to read this book and write a response.”

 

“Why do I have to do this?”

 

“Because, you’re on the scholarship and therefore, you’re my apprentice.”

 

Rey scoffed. She could hardly call him a friend, or a respectable human-being. Definitely not a master, or a teacher. 

“— And, you owe me one for not calling campus police on you.”

 

“Fine.”

 

“Fine?”

 

_“Fine.”_

 

**Author's Note:**

> Listen to Under the Table [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-IscvfT5Mk) and tell me what you think. ♡


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